When Relationships End, Success Begins

Author: Earlyn Sharpe, M.A.

This is what starting over looks like.

Some endings don’t come to destroy you; they come to deliver you. When a relationship ends, it can feel like the ground has given way beneath you. But what if endings are actually beginnings dressed in disguise?

Every ending makes space for renewal, for alignment, for success that is yours alone. Sometimes, the greatest success story begins the moment you say goodbye to what no longer serves your soul.

It's over. The relationship has ended. After a long period of denial, a breakup, a separation, or the end of a relationship has become an irrefutable reality. The agony, the loss, the grief and uncertainty that follow can make it feel like the world has stopped spinning. We get caught in a helpless state of longing and withdrawal as our routine and normalcy are thrown into disarray. However, endings don't have to be failures. When one chapter is closing, a new one is being written. The inside of endings is an opportunity. Breakups, separations and endings can be pivotal forces of change and growth in our lives. Breakups or relationship endings offer an invitation to go through processes and begin healing on an inner level that can open doors to new kinds of success.

1. Endings Are Not Failures: The human brain is wired to think in terms of binaries: black/white, good/bad, love/hate. So when a relationship ends, it's easy to turn into self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy. We feel shame about our ending. What's done is done. Focus on reaping the positive gifts that even the most agonizing breakups and endings can have.

2. Pain Creates Space for Growth: Pain is a catalyst for change and growth. This space we experience after an ending or a loss is made for new experiences. Now, what we used to be together has been broken down, and we find ourselves asking questions like, "Who am I outside of this relationship?" What parts of me need to be healed in this area? How can I better serve and love myself in the future, aligning more closely with my values in relationships?

3. From Breakdown to Breakthrough: Breakdown is the precursor of breakthrough. We often need to break things down before we can build them up. As much as breakups and endings are challenging, they are, paradoxically, a gift. The grief of ending a relationship washes away all of the illusions in our lives and helps us see what is most important to us. It also allows us to set healthier boundaries, reconnect with our passions we may have left behind, and be open to opportunities we never would have considered before.

4. Success Redefined: Success doesn't always come in the form of a shiny new person or promotions at work right away. It starts with peace of mind. It's okay to redefine what success is to you. When we seek success in new relationships and jobs to fill a void inside, we tend to attract more of the same. Instead, what happens when we let go of outcome and expect nothing but to show up and be curious? When we redefine success as self-awareness, resilience, and authenticity, we begin to attract all the right relationships and opportunities we desire.

Reflection Questions: What story am I telling myself about this ending?

• In what ways has this ending created space for my growth?

• What does success look like for me moving forward?

Endings always bring new beginnings in disguise. By embracing the lessons and choosing to rise in the ashes, heartbreak is transformed into hope and endings into a pathway for empowerment. Success doesn't come despite endings. It often begins because of them.

Your Special Reflection: What ending in your life has secretly been the start of your next chapter?

Want to Dive Deeper?

If this article resonated with you, I’ll dive into this topic more from a personal place on my Sip & Heal: Tea and Therapy Talks podcast.

Listen to the episode here: http://bit.ly/45vdH23 or on your favourite podcast carrier.